Sex vs. Gender

    So I went through a bit of back and forth over what to write about today, but this has kind of been in the back of my mind for a while, so I figured I'd go for it.

     In today's modern world, it seems as if people use the terms "sex" and "gender" interchangeably. And I suppose it does make enough sense, because they are, in most cases, the same for a person. But they aren't always. So here's another slightly educational rant pertaining to the highly underrepresented trans* community.

     Side note: the reason the * was adopted into the word trans was to make it more all inclusive towards any person living outside of a birth-given sex of male or female. More on that in a moment.

     Can you recall the first time you used or saw either of the above terms? From kindergarten, children begin to learn about what boys and girls typically act like, and that they should mostly be friend with people of their own gender. It's almost a natural thing. But when your five, you aren't going to use any real terms. Boy or girl, that's definition enough.

     One distinct memory of my own use of the word "gender" was when I was about ten. I was reading some book about urban legends aloud with my brother. At one point, the book talked of a curse that would occur anytime two people of opposite sexes stood in one particular place together. But at age ten, "sex" is a funny word, so I verbally changed it to "gender." Even as a teenager, most people's maturity levels don't allow that to be used in everyday language. Which I think is part of the reason why the world "gender" was so over-popularized.

     The problem, again, is that as people began saying "gender" more, it almost lost it's significance in comparison to "sex", so now they are viewed as equals.

     Or really, maybe it isn't even modern language that led to them being used equally, but ignorance. Not necessarily at anyone's fault, but there's just a general lack of common knowledge on the topic. Again, the reason why I write this now. Because it's a new age, and a time for learning.

     So just for a more accurate basis, I'll put the actual definitions of each word here, before I interpret:

Compared to:

     So in simpler terms, sex is a binary system based purely on physical anatomy. Gender is more of a group of people acting in one particular way, be it feminine, masculine, both, neither, whatever. In most people, sex and gender correspond, and that is fine.

     It is not fine for people who are not cis-gender (sex and gender do not correspond). This is when their gender is what matters, and sex doesn't.

     Go back to the definition of gender now for a moment. This is a personal identification. Now it's definitely possible for a feminine male to still identify as male. But for some people, it just isn't. A person's whose sex is technically female can relate and feel a lot more comfortably living as a male, because that's their gender. And this is where it becomes an issue on respect more than anything. Gender doesn't even have to be an outward thing. People can look many different ways. This is where, if someone confides in you that they prefer pronouns that vary from their sex, then use those pronouns around them. Or if you aren't sure, ask them not what their biological sex is, but what they would like to be called.

     Another point is that not every person even has a gender, such as gender-nonconforming people. Some people also may take on multiple genders, or change according to their mood, or whatever. Again, here it's usually best to ask what pronouns they'd like, rather than use the wrong one. Because that could just lead to depression, dysphoria, or anxiety. Or, if it'd it just be awkward to ask, just avoid gender-specific terms altogether.

     Which leads to my final point: why does English still not have an official gender-neutral pronoun? Many people are fine with using they/them, and that's okay. The only problem is that grammar hasn't caught up with the popularity of those pronouns for individual persons. Meaning, "they" is still seen as a plural term. Which it technically is, I suppose. Many people also like to use ze/zir, but because those aren't as popular, many have trouble remembering them and can again fall into using incorrect pronouns. These are just little things that bother me about pronouns. Also, saying "he/she" is another binary term, and it just doesn't read well in papers. Another reason for a new word.

     Still, the world is progressing. I have to keep reminding myself this, but it is. For example, the University of Iowa has started listing "transgender" as a gender option, alongside "male" and "female." Which is a huge step with people who may identify differently. There are also some doctors who, when registering patients, specify that when they ask a person's sex, they actually mean their sex, purely because of their difference hormonally and physically.

     Anyways, the main point I wanted to make was that sex and gender are not always the same, so don't always assume they are. And you should be respectful of this, because neither sex nor gender are chosen things, and it isn't easy when they don't match up. So be mindful, be kind, and remember that everyone has the right to self-identify, but no one has the right to put them down for that.